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Chapter Forty-Seven: And Meanwhile, Back in Mirrglbury...

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The king of Mirrglbury was at this time having a sumptuous and extremely expensive royal banquet - at the expense of the royal municipal treasury of course - and I of course mean the king of Mirrglbury who had once been the royal giver of wise advice to the king, old Dinkplutter Bump, who had usurped the throne from the true king, young Jorkulhaup Bortvelding, after he had first sent that same true king on a long and arduous and dangerous and very possibly fatal trek into the unknown in search of a living wooly mammoth (which happened to be a member of an extinct species, making the possible discovery of one something which was undoubtably effectively impossible, if not utterly so, so that he might then kill it in glorious battle so that he wouldn't go down in history as a boring, do-nothing king like so many of his predecessors had done before him, which, even if by some fluke of the imagination it actually did happen, would be a suicide mission in and of itself, because everyone knows that a raging bull wooly mammoth is something which is nearly impossible to kill, especially for a small, puny six-fingered human in rabbit-hunting armor and jackalope-proof boots on a horse). Dinkplutter Bump had been enjoying his now somewhat lengthy stint as the king of all Mirrglbury. He had all kinds of pretty girls wanting to spend a bunch of time with him because he was so very rich and powerful, and he did indeed definitely enjoy their sweet company, which was something he would never have been able to before he had become the king, because he was kind of like three hundred years old or something - at least, he looked like he was something like three hundred years old - and he had never actually been particularly good looking in the first place, before he got old. In fact, he had used to be downright ugly. If anything, his getting into old age had actually improved his looks, which was not really saying much except that it was kind of obvious that the girls were going for him because he was the king of Mirrglbury and for no reason other than that. Because it certainly wasn't his looks, and it really very extremely certainly wasn't for his wit or personality either, because as you may have noticed earlier, Dinkplutter Bump was kind of a scheming, self-serving ass. But anyhow. He was also enjoying being able to buy or request anything that he wanted, as he had the entire treasure store of the entire nation at his beck and call. When the royal head of the treasury had complained to him about his constant misuse of it, Dinkplutter Bump, being the king, had had the poor man tossed into the royal dungeon and had hired a new treasurer, who also happened to be his nephew, and therefore... sympathetic to the king's needs and wants and so on. The nephew also profited greatly from this arrangement, so to speak. Ahem. So as you can see, it was really no surprise to find that under Dinkplutter Bump's careful supervision, dear old Mirrglbury was nearing the point of bankruptcy within the one year and one half of a year that King Dinkplutter Bump, the once royal advisor, had been king for. Clearly something would have to be done. But what?
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